Meet Delilah

Hello Nairobi! Hello my lifers!! I can’t express just how excited I am that I get to write this for you. All the sordid details of mine and my lovely gang of Nairobi misfits extra complicated lives. The only place you’ll find this level of honesty… Let’s buckle up shall we? Just to spice things up a bit, the identity of this author shall remain a secret, yes yes just like in Gossip girl, and yes I know very derivative but do you want this gossip or not? That’s what I thought…😜 So we’re staying. 

Now I want to assure the reader that all these stories are based on true events that happened to people I know and have interacted with at one point or another so I could be your friend, enemy, co- worker, friend of a friend, neighbor or whatever you can imagine in this big big city of ours. So, my lifers send me tips and send me proof and I’ll retell it if it’s interesting enough with different names but accurate locations to keep us all guessing at who done it! Think of this as Murder Mystery has a threesome with Gossip Girl and BnnKenya (Hey Edgar! 😌) So where should we begin? Probably at the beginning of last week.

I am a naughty girl. Before you start judging, let me explain a bit. My friend’s call me Dee but my ID says Delilah. I’m not sure why my extremely religious parents named me this, but here we are and let’s just say that names have power over us. I won’t get ahead of myself too much right now, you’re going to need to be a bit patient for this. 

It all started last Friday at Mercury, doesn’t it always though ha! Wanja and I had had the longest week with work deadlines choking our social lives and we just wanted to get lit and let loose before we got our RnR over the weekend. I left the office around six thirty after a successful project presentation to a client ran over, always a good sign for business when they have a million questions, so I was pumped and feeling myself. 

The only thing running through my mind was where am I going to go to pregame and if I have the energy to get dolled up for the club or not. Then I chuckle out loud at my last thought. How Absurd! Hitting Mercury looking haggard is just not an option, this is Nairobi on a Friday night, Bitch act like you know, I tell myself as I start mentally going through my sexy outfits and balancing them against my level of confidence and how much prep needs to go into it. Having decided on the perfect choice I proceed with a little more oomph in my step. 

I step off of the lift in the basement parking of the seven storey building in Westy that houses the consulting firm that I work for. As I head to my new white Subaru Impreza, I feel a little tingle because I still cannot believe that it’s all mine off the sweat of my brow. I feel so proud of myself for how hard I’ve worked this year and it really has paid off. 

I chuckle as I remember my mother’s disappointment at my having bought a car with my promotion bonus instead of using it to put down a deposit on a quarter acre piece of land in Ruiru. Brushing off the pesky thought to the side because what’s done is done and I’m happy that I don’t have to wait for matatus and jostle my delicate disposition like a barbarian anymore. I shudder at the recent memory of it all and I’m not sorry at all, no matter how much I pretend to my mum. 

The minute my key hits the ignition and the Bluetooth connects, a thrill runs through me as Rihanna’s sultry vocals fill my car. It’s the little things really. I dial Wanja’s number because we need to align our plan of attack for the night. 

Wanja picks almost immediately with “Wamlambez!” and my heart just soars, I love this bitch, I think. “Kairetu gathaka! Leo tunaanzia wapi? I’m thinking we start at BND, kina Benja have a table so we’re sorted! I’m heading home to change then I chomoka at like eight, we patana at like nine ama?” “Sawa sawa, it’s a plan. See you then. By the way, what are you wearing?” she asks, “The black and white romper with my thigh highs, and you?” I answer and return the question. “ I think I’ll wear my red bodycon skirt with the Fenty bustier that Johnny got me last week.” She responds and I can’t help but smile at the wink in her voice at the last part of that statement. 

“Damn!! Can’t wait to see that fit. Lakini, is Johnny coming through tonight?” I ask in a whining tone. “Sitaki those mubaba vibes leo enyewe, si you tell him leo uko home…” I say, “ Alafu we meet him in Mercury like last time!” She shrieks and we both descend into riotous laughter as we both recall a previous incident that I’ll leave up to your imagination right now. “ Sawa see you later then.” I say as I end the call and turn up the volume. 

I jam all the way home as my vibe continues to rise. I hit the road and wind my way up towards Waiyaki Way. I take a turn at Chrome and head back into Kilimani towards the stylish block of apartments that I call home. I park on the ground floor parking and take the lift to my seventh floor, two bedroom apartment. Entering my house excitedly, I rush to my bathroom, and for the first time since I moved here three months ago, I walk past my balcony without stopping to take in the view of the city and the distant twinkling lights that lends the city a peaceful aura from this vantage point. 

The view is the main reason I moved into the house if I am being totally honest, but I digress. In an hour I’m calling an uber as I carry my handbag and heels in my hand, fully intending to put them on downstairs as I wait for my driver to arrive, no point stressing my feet before the good times start rolling, ama? I check my purse for my cash and card and emergency joint, because who isn’t smoking up in this hectic city these days? Like I said in the beginning, keep your judgment to yourself. 

My cabbie arrives and we’re off for a night of revelry. We pull up at BND at a few minutes to nine, and I hurriedly pull on my heels as the cabbie drops me off at the gate due to the packed parking. I breeze through the security check and immediately start scanning the sitting patrons for my friends. I don’t see them immediately and so I dial Benja’s number impatiently, feeling oddly exposed by myself and noticing all the faces turning in my direction, some familiar, some not, but who has the energy to even wonder where I know them from? 

He finally picks up and says that he’s sitting outside close to the main bar. Weaving my way between all the well dressed and excited bodies and I feel this electric energy start to diffuse my whole body. Naomi , Benja’s girlfriend of 6 months, waves me over with a smile and I can’t help but smile back. I dispense hugs freely round the table of 6 of my friends and stand around until one of the guys gives up his seat for me, partly out of chivalry and partly because at this time, there are no spare seats to be found in everybody’s favorite local and after work hang out.

 The place is abuzz with the noise of over 25’s catching up with their peers over beers after work in an age old tradition that spans the lifetime of homo sapiens in my opinion. Most of the crowd are Nairobi lifers and have probably been in the party scene since campus days just like me and it’s probably why so many faces are familiar even though we’ve not interacted before. 

Benja pours me a double Tanqueray 10 from the bottle in the middle of the table and I raise it and say a bright “Thanks!” as I motion a waiter for a tonic water to chase it with. 

We clink glasses and I dive into the story that was being discussed before I joined the table. Wanja walks in just as I am getting another gin and tonic and I get up excitedly to give her a hug. She walks right up to me and gives me a tight hug as she whispers urgently in my ear, “Pretend like we have to leave in an hour. Johnny is here!”

Aaannnd pause! Check back in next week, same time my Lifers to find out what happens next! I can’t wait to share everything but… patience, patience, all in good time. I told you it would be a wild ride.